Bonjor.  Je mapelle Fillé Kramer.  Jabbite en Angleterre…but right now Im in Franse on my family holidays.  Amazingly they have the internet in Franse as well, so I can keep you all up to date.

 

We are staying in a village called St. Chinian in the south of Franse.  In the UK, if a bird poos on you its supposed to be good luck.  In Franse they think its good luck if dogs poo on the ground becose its everywhere!!  I don’t remember seeing that in The Aristocats.  Maybe its good luck if you step on one?

 

As you know, Franse invented food so we have tride to eat out a lot.  We went to the same pizza resteraunt for three days.  Mum and Dad have discovered pink wine (rosay) wich you are aloud to drink in the day here.  On Friday we stayed a bit to long and dad drank to much rosay wine and was asked to leave for singing God Save The Queen FIVE times.  Yesterday at lunch, mum played the ‘putting her hand over Dads glass’ game with me, wich was fun.

 

I have two resteraunts to revue.  The first one was JERMAZING!  It was on the bank of a canal.  Firstly they had pictures of everything on the menu, wich is important if you cant speak french (wich I can).  We sat outside and the seats and tables were lovely white plastic.  I ordered a “Steak Hashe with Frites.”  Dad says that in Franse, they hardly ever cook things properly.  He ordered a duck brest on Saturday night and it was bleeding when he cut it with his knife.  I havent seen so much blood sinse Gordon stapled his tung to his pensil case for a bet.  Luckily my steak was just right – grey all the way threw.  

 

The waiter was smoking by the kitchen door a lot – your aloud to smoke in Franse – but he always put out his cigerett before coming to our table.  A very nice touch.  Plus, even when he had to cough, he would cough into his armpit so it woudent go all over our food.  You dont get that quality of servise in Pizza Hut do you.  For desert, I didnt even have to choose.  “Pour le mamouiselle…” said the waiter, and he went over to a freezer in the corner (a freezer outside!!!!!) and pulled out a Feast bar for me.  “Oooooooh”  said Mum.  “Is there any more rosay?” said Dad. 

 

All in all, it was brilliant.  Last night though, we went to a so-called posh resteraunt.  There was litrally nothing on the menu I wanted to eat.  You may have heard that in Franse they eat snails – IT IS NOT A JOKE.  Dad had six of them and pulled them out of there shells with a stick.  I nearly cride.  But then, for his mane course he had RABBIT.  Is this what rich french people do?  Eat there pets?!  I thouht I mite have some cheese, but the idiot waiter started to drizzle honey over it.  Over cheese!  I had some bread.  It was hard and had seeds on it.  

 

Even though Franse invented resteraunts, they still, I think, have a lot to learn, even now after two hundred years.

 

CAFÉ HENRI *****

 

LES RÊVES DE MASSIALOT *

 

I was supposed to go to Hayleigh-Rhianna McCormacks party on Saturday but mum wouldnt let me go.  She wont say why but I think its becose Hayleigh-Rhiannas mum gave some of the girls tatoos last year that dident wash off like my fairy ones.  I love my mum but shes reely old fashuned some times.  When I sade that I wanted an ear ring like Hayleigh-Rhiannas brother, she sent me to my bedroom.

 

So insted of having my ears peersed and getting dressed up like Katy Perry at Hayleigh-Rhiannas catwalk party, I had to stay at home with mum.  BOOOO!  She wasent feeling very well so she made me watch a film with her – and here is my revue of it.

 

Breef Encounter is an old film and was made before the Beatles when everything was still black and white.  I would hate to have lived then becose my new Jedward multicolured pen wude only have two colurs – so what wude be the point?  The film is about two old people who are married.  They are strange becose they act like grandparents but they havent got grey hair yet.  The ladys husband dresses up like hes going to church, even though hes in his own house.  There was no such thing as TV then, so she does nitting and he dose cross words.  To make things interesting, they both do impreshuns of the Queen.  Even there children pretend to talk like the Queen, wich I can promice you is only fun for about 4 hours.  

 

The mans wife spends a lot of time on trains – I dont think ladys were aloud to drive cars back then.  In town where she gose to, she has another husband who is a doctor – you can tell this becose he wares a hat.  He probably isnt reely a doctor becose he smokes cigeretts – a real doctor wude know that cigeretts kill you.

 

They go to the cinema a lot  - and smoke inside!!!!!! – and have cups of tea at the train stayshun.  And that, people, is all that happens.  They don’t even talk about anything intresting.  Once, they go onto a boat and the “doctor” falls into the river wich was funny.  Later, the lady in the train stayshun café knocks some cakes onto the floor – and someone picks them up and puts them back on the cake stand!!!  OMG (oh my gosh).  Im never eating cakes from a train stayshun café ever agane.

 

I was so bored by this film that I tydied my bedroom insted of watching all of it.  When I came back down at the end, mum was crying.  She must have thort it was as bad as I did.

 

Breef Encounter.  *

"Probably the worst film ever made."

 

“Messina”, 167 Builder Street.

Saturday July 6th 2013.

 

When is something not realy something?  Ive had to ask this question a lot this week.  When is a party not a party?  When its Pollux MacKenzies party, thats when.  Pollux is one of those boys who is happy to be on there own a lot, usully reading or drawing pictures of flowers and rainbows.  I was very suprized to get an invitation to his birthday party becose I never realy talk to him.  I remember he was at Jack Jackmans party becose Gordons dad kept laughing at his name – like ALL day and ALWAYS the same joke about talking Pollux, wich dissent even make sense!

 

It was a history party wich ment more dressing up – thums up!  I went as Cleopatra (from Asterix and Cleopatra); Fiona James went as one of Henry VIIIs wives – so she sais, aktully is was a Kiera Knitely dress from Pirates of the Carabian – and Gordon went as Iron Man. 

 

Even after all the problems last week, the parents dropped us off and left us there alone.  Sometimes I think parents LIKE not having there children around for 2 hours.  The only grown ups there were Polluxs mum and dad.  He is quite small for a man and wore a very pretty scarf and a big felt hat (maybe he was going as one of the 3 muskiteers – I didnt ask).  Polluxs mum was quite strange, she looked like she was sleepwalking a lot of the time, or like sheed been trying to stop someone telling the same joke 50 times and had finaly given up trying – I know that look.  

 

For a while we were just left to play on our own – I respect that as a partivista.  It takes confidens just to let children do there own thing and it can be reely nice sometimes.  It didnt last unluckily.  Polluxs dad started telling everyone that he had a big surprise for us.  In fact, he had been on TV quite a bit, he sade and was akshully quite famous.  Maybe becose we didn’t beleeve him, he put on a DVD of all the times he had been on TV.  It was true.  There he was in the background in about 40 clips.  There was no sound but there was gitar music playing over all the little seenes.  “I wrote and played this peece.  Do you like it?” he asked me.  Before I could say anything – ‘no’ – he said “Everyone watch this!” and he was dressed as a gardener talking to a detective in a voice that sounded like the lion in Robin Hood.  “John Nettels and I worked on that seene for 2 days” he sade.  “Absolute profeshonal!”  

 

Wile we were eating the food (wich was forgetable), I notised that Polluxs mum was in the kitchen polishing the same wine glass for ten minites.  She must have spent all night working on the party and not had any sleep.  Sudenly, Polluxs dad jumped into the room.  He was dressed like someone from Horrible Histories right down to his brite yellow stockings.  He told us that insted of playing party games, we were going to put on a small play for our parents when they came to pick us up.  Talk about being tricked!  

 

Heed ritten down everyones lines for us and we all took it in turn to read.  He gave himself the part of Malvonio.  I was playing someone called Viola, but when I red my lines (which were really weird and badly ritten) he told me I had to pretend to be a boy!!!  Wel why not get Jack to play her then?!  Akshully Jack played a jester (even though he was dressed up as a knight).  Pollux had had enough and went up to his room.  Me and Angharad tried to follow him but his dad wouldnt let us go until the scene was ready.  “Just think,” he said, “this could be a YouTube sensayshun.”  Um.  No thanks.  When he told Gordon off for not pronouncing his Ts, Polluxs mum shouted at him, “for Gods sake Jeremy just stop it!” and ran upstairs to be with Pollux.

 

Luckily, our parents arrived but before we could run into the cars, Polluxs dad sat them all down to watch the play.  “By all meens feel free to record it upon your mobile phones.”  Upon.  Realy!!  The play only lasted five minutes.  Polluxs dad got very angry.  Firstly he didn’t like the way Jacks lines were getting more laghs than his and he didnt like the way Gordons dad was booing and shouting “tell us a joke!!”  Before the play was supposed to finish, he swished his scarf around his neck and sade to the parents “go hang yourselfs all.  You are idel shallow things.  I am not of your eliment!”  (or elephant, Im not sure) and walked upstairs and slamed a door.  And that was that.  All the parents just sat where they were looking at each other and saying Oh my God – instead of Oh my gosh, wich is the proper way to say it.  It reminded me of when the lights came up in the cinema at the end of Cars 2.

 

On the way home in the car, mum turned to me and said, “um, you know Pollux.  Is he a really good frend or just, you know, a sort of frend”.  There you go agane with things that arent really things.  Life is very complicated sometimes.

 

SETTING **

If yore going to take the home option instede of going out you need to put much more effort than this.

 

FOOD **

The buffet had been made up to look like The Green Room in Pebble Mill At One.  No one knew what that ment or who Alan Tishmark is or was.

 

PARTY BAG *

Nothing.  Pollux told me the next day that his dad had wanted to make DVD copys of the play for us all.  There was no Plan B.  Pollux is moving schools soon.   

 

1 Atlee Close.

29 June 2013

 

I watched a film with my dad on Saturday called the Lord of the Flys, wich was in black and white – OH NOOOO!  It was a bit like the famous five.  Some boys go on holiday to a desert iyland and try to spend a night camping there.  They have a barbacue but the only thing they can find to eat is a pigs head.  That will teach them to go camping without theyre parents!  I did think about it later – what would it be like to have no grown ups around to tell us what to do.

 

I neerly found out, actshually, at Thea Walkers party.  Some parents like other parents to stay and have tea when theyre children have partys.  Theas mum and dad were the only grown ups here.  I think that this was becose Jacobs uncle Terry was here last year.  He is the kind of uncle who asks you to pull there finger and then – urrrrr, you know what.  Unluckily, last year uncle Terry had an upset tummy and when Gordon pulled his finger, Terry nearly fell over and had to crawl up the stairs to the bathroom.  He waited up there for a hole hour until Jacks mum brouht him a new pare of trowsers from Asda.  Theas mum shook her head so much that I thouht it would fall off and Gordons dad laughed so loudly that he was nearly sick in the sink!!  So this time there were no grown ups AND NO BOYS AT ALL.  YAYYYY.

 

Thea has a fairy godmother who wrote a book all abowt how to behave like a perfect prinsess.  I meen everything from how to curtsy in frunt of the queen, to how to use an Escargo prong (?!?!).  Theas party was supposed to be a fairy party, wich ment that we all had to dress up as fairys.  Its just my opiniun, but it’s a big shame that there are so few fansy dress partys these days.  Mabie its becose the school had a halloween party last year and everyone came as the SAME Monster High caracter – exept Floyd Rossington who covered himself in bacon and sade he was Lady Ga Ga and got sent home.  

 

I don’t think boys care as much but girls LOVE fansy dresss – fairys and prinsesses espeshily.  ANYTHING that means glittery hair and shiny lipstick.  Theas mum had lade the table like it was a royle wedding.  There was even classicle music!  I had to sit next to Fiona James, wich I was dredding – last year at school she told me joke at lunchtime about Dr Who (yawn) and spat three bits of peas onto my lasanya.  GROSS!  Even Fiona acted like a fairy prinsess this time, even thoe she did coff in Ocean Greens face when some lemonade went up her nose by mistake.

 

The sandwitches had the crusts cut off – other parents take note – and were lovely and thin.  The fairy cakes were soft and the ising was creamy and sweet.  There were no big boyish things like pork pies or scotch eggs.  Even the jelly had bits of gold paper in it that you could eat.  Theas dad was dressed up like a waiter and kept topping up the glasses with pink lemonade.  Probably the best party food EVER.

 

Just before the cake was supposed to come out, Theas mum came in dressed up like a fairy.  She clamed to be Dame Sparklefresh, Theas fairy godmother.  I don’t think real fairy godmothers wear ballet costumes that are three sizes too small for them and have wings made of cling film, but Angharad Quigley thorte she was real so I didn’t say anything.

 

“Dame Sparklefresh” sang happy birthday and threw fairy dust over us.  Then she went to the outside door, told us all to be good and started floating up in the air.  Just before she went above the door completley, there was a big yell from outside, something like ‘Ow, my blood he back!’  At that point Theas mum stopped floating up.  Her legs were hanging down from the top of the door, kicking quite a bit.  The other voice – Theas dad, it turned out, who had pulled her up with a rope and pully like in Peter Pan but slipped and fell and hurt his back – kept shouting help, but luckily, the door swang shut so we couldn’t hear eether of them.  

 

This ment that for about harf an hour, it was just us and no grown ups.  In the Lord of the Flys, the boys have one night alone and they get so crazy that one of them drops a stone onto a fat boy.  Us girls managed to have a perfect, lovely magicle dinner party even though Theas mum kept ruining it by calling for an ambyulance and trying to kick the door open with her foot (and her dad would not STOP crying).  The message – GIRLS RULE!

 

SETTING.****  

I bet when William married Kate, the room looked just like this one exept their TV would have been bigger.

 

CAKE N/A  

Because of all the fuss when our mums and dads came back and Theas mum had to climb onto Jacobs dads sholders, and the doctors and the shouting and everything, we didnt get to have any cake.  Shame. 

 

PARTY BAG **

A fairy cake.  Disapointing.

 

The Piggery, Earlam Cottages, Blackwoods.

Saturday 22nd June.

 

There have been two new children in our class this year.  One of them, a boy called Ethan was very nice and liked Jedward - wich is always a good sine.  The only thing he liked more than Jedwards JERMAZING CD Young Love (10/10) was seting fire to things.  After what hapenned with Miss Cophams perfume bottel and the pirate ship in the playground and the fire enjen, Ethan had to go to a nother school.  This is a pity sinse he still had my (borrowed) Jedward multicolured pen on him when they brought him down from the roof.  I dont think I’ll ever see that agane – cross face!

 

The other new girl was called Ocean (like the sea) and she is a lot less danjerus.  She does smile if you smile at her first, but shes very quiet and makes her own hair bands out of real flowers.  I think this makes her more mystirius than girls and boys who are loud and screem a lot – Russell Watts in year 2 espeshilly – so I was reely looking forward to her birthday party last Saturday.

 

Her house is in the middel of a forest, a bit like the gingerbred house in Hansel & Gretel, but made of bricks and wood.  Her mum and dad reminded me of the time we had a school trip to an Alternitive Tecknology park where all the men had big beards and all the women had clothes made of fuzzy felt and everyone smelt like weetabix.  They were both very nice and happy even though Oceans dad seemed quite nervus and was always looking over his sholder.

 

I oviously thought that we were going to play pass the parcel when we all sat in a circle but instead, Oceans mum made us each write part of a poem to give to the person next to them.  Then she wrote down what weed written all together on a typewriter (REELY) and made copies for each of us while we had party food.  My verse was “Oceans can have boats on top and fish below, but my new frend is the best Ocean I know.”  Her mum said it was the second best verse – Henrietta rimed “Digeridoo” with “How do you do.”  How coud anyone beat that?  (I hate Henrietta)  Gordon was sat next to me.  He cant write yet so he drew a picture of a dinasore being hit by the incredible hulk.  

 

The food was very nice and speshal marks to Oceans mum because everything was home made, even the sossige rolls.  It was all mostly tasty, even though a lot of things tasted like bird seed.  I was sat next to Ocean.  She told me her dad was on the Witnes Protectshun program, but I have never seen it – Im not even aloud to watch east enders.  I wanted to ask him if hed met Dani Harmer from Danis House but apparently its a big BIG secret so I coudent.

 

After the food, Oceans dad took us on a nature trail and we went looking for dragon flies and frogsporn.  It was a perfect way to spend a lovely summer day but I thought it was strange the way her dad kept hiding behind trees whenever someone stept on a twig.  Gordon found some mud and rubbed it all over his face so he could pretend to be an SAS soldier.  There was no way we were ever going to see a baby deer with him diving off the path into the forest all the time shouting “Grenade!”

 

Her dad showed us some flowers that hed grown himself that hed named after his daugter (‘Oceans Daydream’).  They were lovely blue and yellow flowers and her dad said we could each pick one to press and stick onto our poems – fortunetly Angharad had re-gifted her flower-press from last week.  It was such a lovely moment that I nearly cride.  Unfortunetly, Gordon jumped out behind Oceans dad with lots of grass tied to his head, holding a sharp stick and shouted ‘Your DEAD!!’  Oceans dad screamed, picked up his daugter and ran away shouting ‘don’t look back!’  Luckily Oceans mum came to find us ten minites later before Gordon could tie up any more of us.  

 

SETTING *****

My favourate book is The Magic Faraway Tree so any party in a forest is OK with me.  

 

FOOD ****

Making all your own food is brave.  Using Quorn for childrens food is even braver.  Tasty but one star lost because there were bits of birds nest in the cake and the ribena was home made – a step to far.

 

PARTY BAG *

A windmill made of toilet paper. 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beaverbrooke Cottage, Owl Farm.  

15 June 2013 

 

The Bibel says that it is better to give than to reseeve.  This is true, as any one who has reseeved a paint-it-your-self flower-press will tell you.  This was not just a bad present but impossibel to get rid of.  The exact same flower-press turned up at five birthday partys – I know because Jack and me marked one of the corners with three scratches.  We think that the last person to get it was Jessica Morrison but no one has any idea who the first person to get it was, or who baught it in the first plase.  It just somehow entered the food chain – like that doctor said in the documentry about illigle cat meat.

 

I could recognize the shape of the box from miles away when Angharad started opening her presents.  Jack and me had a plan to look at all the mums when the flower-press was opened and see wich ones looked at each other in embarasment.  My gess would be either Rebecca Delaneys mum, who said “Wow” just a bit too loudly for something like a flower-press, or Mrs Stevenson who went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea JUST as the flower-press was opened.  

 

My friend Teddy has another theery.  She thinks that it was one of the children who rapped it and put in on a gift tabel just to see how many times it would be Re Gifted.  I don’t agree with her, but Peter Fey did do a strange smile when Angharad opened it.  A bit like the smile he did that time Gordon pinned the tail on Jaden instead of the donkey.  Im starting to feel very sorry for Jaden.

 

Actually we could have used the flower-press to make Mrs Baxters sandwitches a bit thinner.  Jack tride to eat a cheese and ham sandwitch crust-first and needed a parent to help him close his mouth again.  Even if you invite boys to a girls party, you shud still keep things small and girly.  I like pies as much as anyone, but I dont think a pork pie the size of a cowboy hat has any place on a girls birthday party tabel – even Angharads.   

 

Luckily Gordons dad wasnt here (or Gordon, phew).  The last time we played musicle statues, he kept shouting in the childrens faces to try and make them move.  This time is was actually fun.   Angharad was jumping up and down to One Direction so much that a bookshelf fell off the wall onto Jacks dad – and she was disqualifide.  I came second but I dident mind – the winner got a packet of monster munch wich I HATE.

 

Teddy and me shuck hands and agreed that whoever got the flower-press for theyre 21st birthday should just open it and put it out of it’s misery.

 

SETTING ***

Angharad has a nice house and a lovely tree that is easy to clime.  Very handy for when the screeming gets too much and you want some pease and quiet to think about things.

 

CAKE *****

Probably the best cake ever.  Butter cream and lots of seed-less jam.  Three – THREE – layers 1.Chocolate 2. Orange 3. Vanilla.  Chocolate coating with no marzipan and hundreds and thousands – all in the shape of Hacker from CBBC!  If my mum made cakes like this, Id look like Angharad too. 

 

PARTY BAG **

A joke ice cube with a fly in it (Good) and a lottery scratch card, which mum took off me in the car (Bad).

 

 

The Eric Bristow Leisure Centre, Sparrow Street.

Saturday the 2nd of June.

 

Gyms are interesting becose they are they only places where grown ups like to lissen to the same music as teenagers.  The music has to be played verry loud otherwise the people wouddent be able to hear it over there iPods.  Gyms are like libreries becose your not aloud to talk to anybody.  Apart from the man in the small swiming trunks and tiny vest who looked like hed stepped on a thing you inflate rubber dinggys with.  He liked talking to evryone but manely the ladys.

 

The only reeson I was in the gym was becose I had to wate somewere – the party before ours had over run and they needed to swop all the babyish Fireman Sam  tabelcloths and cups for something a bit more soffisticated, grown up and feminin for Danis party – Peppa Pig (with Wonder Pets cups that were cleerly cept from last year!!)

 

This confushun about times ment that we only had 15 minites to play with the inflatabels and big spongy triangles, insted of an hour like we were supposed to.  It was a new experienss for me – watching parents trying to MAKE there children have an hour of fun in only 15 minites.  I havent seen so much (what I call) “Making Crying Look Like Laughing” since mummy tride to get on a plane without a parse port.  Gordons dad tride to stage a hole football game, where no one was ever aloud to stop moving to save time.  He blew his wissle so often I nearly went def.  Who gives a wissle to a man like Gordons dad?

 

He started arguing with the man in the tiny vest when he tride to close the court after only 14 minites.  Ive notised that Gordons dad often shouts at people but when its at other (bigger) men, he shouts at them wile hes walking away from them bakwoods.

 

The birthday tea was very nise.  Home made egg and cress sandwitches (just the rite amount of mayonays) and tuna sandwitches (bit to much mayonays.  The sandwitch shuddent curve like a big frown when you hold it in the air on one finger!).  Sossige rolls and pork pies were definnitly from M&S – pushes nose up with finger and talks posh – and so was the CLOWDY lemonade, wich no child likes.

 

You have to be fare to Danis mum, all the things that went rong were all becose of the people who are in charge of the gym.  All the children had a nise time, except Jaden who was in gole when Gordons dad took a penelty kick.  Last year, Dani had a clown.  This year, wile we ate our cake, we cood see the man in the tiny vest making overwate children clime a wall by shouting at them really lowdly.  Im still not sure wich was the sadder site.

 

SETTING *

It wassent as bad as that, but the gym loses two stars for there complete lack of orginisashun.

 

CAKE ****

Beauty & The Beast cake with sentrel Belle figure and yellow dress sponge-cake.  Polly Whettingsteel had the same one in Janury but its still my favorit Disney cake (even thoe theres hardly any jam).

 

PARTY BAG **

The usual Tesco stuff.  My clicking flag didn’t click when I spun it.  Cross face.

 

 

 

 

 

24 Juniper Drive.  

May 25th 2013.

 

What coud be sadder than a bouncy castel party on a cold and windy day?  Going on the amount of crying that Jacks mum was doing upstairs, not much is the anser.  I had to feel sorry for her.  A partivista (my own brand new word by the way) like me nos how much planning that has to be done to get a birthday party just right.  You can plan it for a hole year but what can you do if God desides that Jacks birthday is the day He’s going to try and flud the world again – even though he promised he wouldn’t / cross face.

 

What is a party anyway?  When you get older you don’t HAVE partys anymore but you JOIN them instead.  Not only that, but they work the exact opposite way to the way partys are supposed to work.  Instead of lots of laughing and playing and having fun, you have to become very serius and shout at people who aren’t in your party.  Grandpa (Mums dad) and Pappy (Dads dad) both joined two different partys and now they can’t have Christmas together ever agane.  Last time they started talking about Well Fairs (?!) and after a bit of shouting, Pappy called Grandpa something I had to look up in a dicshunary and Grandma threw her glass of sherry on him.  What is the point of having partys if it means hating other people’s partys?

 

Then again, childrens partys can sometimes be the same.  One reason I think Jacks mum was crying was that she wanted Jacks party to be better than Gordons party the day before.  Gordon doesent say much and makes puffing sounds when he breethes and he always looks like he doesent understand what you’re saying.  He probably doesent understand actualy, thats why he hits people so much.  Gordons mum and dad dont really mind.  They take him to karartie so he can learn to hit people even harder.  Gordons dad wears a pen-nife on a necklace.  They had turned theyre house into a lazer gun assolt-course for Gordons party – or so I hear, no girls were aloud to go, but the boys all said it was the best party ever.  Even Jaden Biskind who went blind for ten minutes after Gordon shot him in the face with a lazer gun.

 

So I feel very sorry for Jacks mum since she had her party ruined by the rain.  Her and her sister Marcia had wrapped some of Jacks old toys in newspaper so we could play pass the parcel, which made no one happy, espeshily Jack.  Marcia tried to get everyone to sing the owl and the pussycat while she played on her gitar, but she kept slurring the words and slyding off her chair.  After she’d played something called ‘At Seventeen’ by Janis Ian, Molly Palins dad took her to the kitchin and tried to stop her crying.  By this point, Jack and most of the others had gone upstairs to watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid in his bedroom.  Partivistas know that sometimes its best to let the children make theyre own fun.  After Gordons lazer party, most children were too tired to play games, even Jaden whos eyesite is getting better, though he cant see the colour yellow any more.

 

SETTING ***

Though it wasn’t Jacks mums falt it rained.

 

CAKE ***

Ten out of ten for effort – a homemade cake in the shape of a Moshi Monster – but points lost because it tasted like rusks.

 

PARTY BAG *

Books – books! – and a tangerine.